This is Sunday October 11, 2015 at 8:30am while sitting in this peaceful solarium overlooking the East River and Roosevelt Island in the beautiful Upper East Side of Manhattan. My beloved brother, Lakhram Boodram, captured my prayer.
I was a patient at New York Presbyterian Hospital and was most likely heavily medicated due to the cancer pain. I do not remember this, nor do I have any idea that I said a prayer which was recorded. A few months later, in December, my brother came from Canada to visit me in New York while I was still recovering. I was shocked, in tears and in immense joy all at the same time. Since we are embarking on the holiday season of thankfulness and appreciation, I am going to share my very personal prayer with you, unedited.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I am ready to face death. I am ready to face life. I know I am not walking alone. But Lord, I alone have to bear the pain. I wish I had some more time to enjoy the things I worked so hard for. However, if I do not make it, there is nothing anyone can do. I am at peace and looking at the reflection of the sun in the East River. It is so beautiful here. I feel as if I am in heaven.”
It took me almost a year to share this publicly. I shared it with only a few close friends and a few family members. I wanted to hang on to it and keep it just for me. However, as I pondered for some time, I feel it is now time to share. I lived almost 1 year and 2 months since my diagnosis and plan to live much longer. I believe in this prayer and God did grant me the time I asked for to enjoy life with my loved ones, family and friends. I often reflect on this short prayer and realized something bigger than me was in charge that day. I tried many times to remember me saying this prayer, but to no avail. I simply cannot remember. Hopefully it will give another person hope as it gave me when I first saw it on paper back in December 2015.
Here is the original handwritten prayer captured by Lakhram Boodram on the reverse side of a New York Presbyterian Hospital Hotel flyer.
We are embarking on the holiday and a time for giving, reflecting and loving others. If we just focus on this each day, our lives will be greatly improved. I cannot express my gratitude to those who are supporting and praying for me each day. I also thank those who were part of my life and for whatever reason, are no longer part of my journey. For the season that those lasted, I have learned and I am grateful.
Each day I am at peace, happy and elated to the point I do feel like dancing and speaking of dancing, I am dancing! I am dancing to lose a few extra pounds, so if anyone is up to it, meet me at my home gym around 6:45am each day and let’s boogie down to some of my favorite Bollywood songs! It is never too late or too early to start dancing. See you next time and please share this blog.
In case anyone is interested in my workout routine, here are a couple of them!