I was having breakfast with a close friend recently and he asked a question that no one asked me since I became ill. His question caught me off-guard and my answer was as surprising to him as it was to me. Here is the conversation as best as I could recall.
Him: So, have you made your bucket list?
Me: What bucket list?
Him: You know, things you wanted to do?
Me: No, I did everything I wanted to do. I did more than most others by the time I got ill and what I did I chose to do. No regrets. I will never have a bucket list because each day I do what is best for me and those I love. This is all I know. I was like this before I got ill, during my illness and will be the same after I get better.
Him: Wow, that is great Sukree. I am so happy to hear to say that.
Me: That’s all I know how to do and that is all I do. I live and enjoy life with a smile as much as I can regardless of the circumstances of my life.
I could see the glistening of tears in his eyes, but all of us will not accept our faith the same way. I have not changed much since I became ill. I just became even more cautious in my words, my actions and where I spend my time. Family and those few close friends I have was and will always be the first things I focus on with a slight change; focus on me first for today and ensure I am taken care of both physically, emotionally and spiritually. Without my health, I am not able to take care and spend time with those I love the most.
My concept of life is simple. I shared this with my Oncologist recently. I believe life is one journey that started way before we are born and continues long after we die. Life in the flesh allows us probably a unique experience using our five senses. I do not know if this belief of mine holds water, but it is my belief. With this, I am quite comfortable with where I am and what I am doing. Regrets? I don’t think I have any. All my experiences have made me stronger and put me in the path of many kind people I would not have met otherwise, so bottom line, I am good where I am today. Tomorrow is another story, but given my track record, tomorrow will be fine too.
So, no bucket list for me. I live one day at a time and I try as best to be kind to everyone that crosses my path. Life goes on for me as usual with a few kinks such as treatments and doctor’s visits. Otherwise, it’s a normal day for me.
However, I do plan to engage myself in my gardening as this is the most peaceful thing I have ever encountered: Beautifying nature!